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    Forrest Gump in Heaven

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    Willows

    Posts : 3362

    Forrest Gump in Heaven

    Post by Willows on Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:12 pm

    FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN




    The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at

    the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,

    and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


    St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,

    it is certainly good to see you.. We have heard a lot about you. I must

    tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering

    an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to

    pass it before you can get into Heaven.'


    Forrest responds, 'It sure is

    good to be here, St. Peter, sir.. But nobody ever told me about any entrance

    exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.

    Life was a big enough test

    as it was.'


    St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I

    know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.




    First:

    What two days of the week

    begin with the letter T?




    Second:

    How many seconds are there in a year?




    Third:

    What is God's first name?'


    Forrest leaves to think the questions

    over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and

    says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,

    tell me your answers.'


    Forrest replied, 'Well, the

    first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?

    Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'


    The Saint's eyes opened wide and

    he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do

    have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit

    for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.


    'How many seconds in a year?

    Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about

    that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'


    Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?

    Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds

    in a year?'


    Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's

    got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '


    'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.

    'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,

    though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give

    you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.

    Can you tell me God's first name'?


    'Sure,' Forrest replied,

    'it's Andy.'


    'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated

    and frustrated St Peter.


    'Ok, I can understand how you

    came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the

    world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'


    'Shucks, that was the easiest

    one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,

    ANDY WALKS WITH ME,

    ANDY TALKS WITH ME,

    ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'


    St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,

    and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'


      Current date/time is Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:26 am