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    Questions to ponder

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    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:10 pm

    Have you ever had a ponder? I often have a ponder but unfortunately I am left with more questions than I have asked...... for instance....

    Is the secret of old age.... to live longer?
    Have you noticed cabs come in threes..... and golfers in fores?
    Do butchers get a raw deal?

    You see where I'm coming from?

    Does a cyber cafe have chips on the menu?
    Is a bigamist an Italian fog?
    Is a suffragette a lady who lives under the flight path of the city airport?

    Ladies...when you feel the sap rising, do you lie still in the hope that he might bring you a cup of coffe in bed?

    I'll ponder some more and get back to you.........
    avatar
    islandgrl
    Admin

    Posts : 2477

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by islandgrl on Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:51 pm

    ThmbUp.gif Laughing
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:31 pm


    I wonder if......
    A smile increases your face value?
    When eskimos get married, can one expect an icy reception?
    Is cod liver oil good for vitamen 'dee-fish-in-sea'?
    Is any fear of flying, groundless?
    I got to pondering the other day that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years!

    Not a lot of people know that!
    avatar
    oceanna

    Posts : 4025

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by oceanna on Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:09 pm

    Laughing clapping.gif

    Thanks Daffy.
    avatar
    Glad E Olah
    Admin

    Posts : 1575

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by Glad E Olah on Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:37 am

    pondering is good!


    thanks daffyd!
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:54 am


    There are some wondrous things upon which to ponder, if one relaxes and lets one's mind wander.....

    No one ever ruined their eyesight looking on the bright side.
    Have you noticed some people are like blisters, they appear only when the work is finished (Oh! Hello there!)
    I've noticed that if I drink too much my wife gets slurred hearing.
    I've concluded the best way to break a habit is, drop it!
    It is said that bird lovers will do anything for a lark!
    Pondering has taught me that if you intend stringing people along, you'd better have a very good yarn.
    Take incarnation, personally I believe in it, so I have left everything to myself!

    avatar
    oceanna

    Posts : 4025

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by oceanna on Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:01 pm

    Laughing

    Thank you Daffy.


    avatar
    Willows

    Posts : 3344

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by Willows on Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:59 am

    Laughing Laughing Laughing

    I'm thinking that at least some ...if not all...of these "Questions to Ponder" may have originated in daffyd's brilliantly abstract and creative mind! Laughing

    Love them all! Laughing Very Happy Laughing Very Happy
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:55 pm

    In my pondering I have wondered thus.....

    Does a squashed square become a wrecked angle?
    Is a dentist always beset by teething problems?
    Oh and, would one say that a dentist's locum is to fill in and bridge any gaps?
    In the old days did journalists suffer from Reuters cramp?
    I once knew a bellringer who dropped a clanger (no, no, that is not all of my ponder) ...he dropped a clanger and was promptly tolled off by the vicar!
    It is by keeping such things in the dark that troubles may well mushroom....in my opinion!
    I've concluded that some people have the need to feel superior....the rest of us have a sense of humour.


    I'm afraid I must dispell the growing misunderstanding as to my creativeness.....I am but an avid collector of profundity, which I regurgitate from time to time.
    avatar
    Willows

    Posts : 3344

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by Willows on Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:29 pm

    In being a collector of "such profundity"...whatever that means...daffyd....you are an expert in and of itself!

    Your last posting...."quacked" me up.....(is quacking a profundity?? Laughing ).....and......I shall go through my day just "quacking" and thinking about what "The Collector of Profundity" will come up with next! Laughing Laughing Laughing
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:45 pm

    PROFOUND : Very learned, deep.
    PROFUNDITY: Product of learned or deep thinking, in a word, pondering!


    Well ah'll be hog tied and branded an ignoramous, ah never knew that!
    avatar
    Willows

    Posts : 3344

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by Willows on Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:29 pm

    Okay.....daffyd..

    Sooooooo...in my old "Concise Oxford Dictionary".... Laughing ...You with your exquisite language are correct in saying ...."PROFUNDITY: Product of learned or deep thinking, in a word, pondering!"

    I've always known the meaning of profound...but you've just taken my vocabulary to a higher level daffyd!
    Very Happy

    Sooooooooo....back to daffyd's ponderings......and who knows what he'll share with us next.....or maybe one of us will throw in a pondering or two!! Laughing
    avatar
    iowakansas2006

    Posts : 21

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by iowakansas2006 on Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:49 am

    Still pondering here.
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Sun May 06, 2012 7:34 pm


    I closed the windows and doors, unplugged the radio and the TV, settled in my all encompassing arm chair and closed my eyes drifted off into that land that has an ongoing horizon and pondered thus.......

    As a comedian I prefer to live in the farce lane.
    If one agrees to something in principle does that mean they don't expect to put it into practice?
    When you come to think of it....unemployment does have benefits.
    If you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
    I used to diet to lose weight..... now its to save money!
    Hmm...I never argue with my wife because its just my word against....hundreds of hers!
    Now that I have dampened down all the extraneous noise I have concluded that silence is wonderful....I won't hear a word against it!
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Thu May 10, 2012 6:30 pm


    It were a Bank Holiday weekend......so I had time on my hands and settled down to some serious pondering....


    Would you say to write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless?

    When fish are in schools do they sometimes . . . take debate?

    Should a thief who stole a calendar . . . get twelve months?

    When the smog lifts in Los Angeles can . . . U.C.L.A.?

    Would a professor's theory on earthquakes be on . . . shaky ground.

    Would batteries given out be . . . free of charge?

    If a dentist and a manicurist married. . . when they fought, would it be tooth and nail?

    Is a will a . . . dead giveaway?

    This is serious pondering....deep, deep, thinking......

    If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed?

    Would a lady with her marriage, get a new name . . . and a dress?

    If you show me a piano falling down a mineshaft I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.

    Would you be stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it?

    Would you call the Local Area Network in Australia : . . . the LAN down under?

    I would wager a boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

    Eggsellent pondering so far.......

    Woulde you call police to a day care where a three-year-old was .. . . resisting a rest?

    If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory?

    The reason why a bicycle can't stand alone; . . . is it is two tired.

    Does a clock when hungry . . . go back four seconds ?

    If one who gets too big for their britches be . . . exposed in the end?

    Is Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done?



    Wow! that was tiring!

    avatar
    Windwalker

    Posts : 842

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by Windwalker on Fri May 11, 2012 1:47 pm

    If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed?

    I love that one!
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Mon May 14, 2012 4:02 pm



    Pondering is puzzling, raising more questions than answers.... here is what I mean....

    If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
    Is a gossip (no not you) is a gossip someone with a good sense of humour?
    It is not necessarily the person with the tallest flagpole who has the highest standards.
    If you are always forgetting your post code does it need to be addressed?
    My advice to ladies is, 'Hang on to your husbands, they may come back into fashion.'
    My wife said she needed more space? So I left her outside in the garden for a week!
    I liken my wife unto a camera which of course we all know, never lies! She just changes the subject!
    Don't you think that one should never use a big word when a diminutive expression will suffice!
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Fri May 18, 2012 6:21 pm


    My pondering has led me to conclude thus.....

    Ten years ago the USA had Steve Jobs (of Apple fame) Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash....
    ....now they have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash....are we all on the downward slope?
    Yet we must remember the world is our oyster as long as we have the money to shell out.
    All of this brings me to this question: 'What happens to all the money that is thrown down the drain?
    Pondering about money, my wife had cosmetic surgery recently. It took ten years off her age and twenty years off my savings!
    I know, I know, sour grapes make a dreadful whine!
    I am sure that some people miss the message because they are too busy checking with Snopes.
    Is celebrity talk just idol chatter?
    I'm retired now but do you know it took a lot of hard work to make life easy!
    A piece of advice, if your wife wants to drive, DON'T stand in her way!
    I'm dieting, perhaps if I continue to lose weight I will get the 'No-belly' prize!
    avatar
    Willows

    Posts : 3344

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by Willows on Sat May 19, 2012 11:15 am

    Daffyd...your ponderings exhaust me!

    As I'm enjoying reading them....I'm tiring about the next ponderings rolling about in your head.

    Does your head ever meet your pillow long enough to make a dimple in it?!! Very Happy hugs.gif
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Sat May 19, 2012 7:23 pm

    To dream.....the impossible dream, I do it on a regular basis. No dimpled pillows just a comfortable chair and an absence of extraneous noise!Sit back close your eyes concentrate on that black interior and,......ponder!

    Do those that kill time bury opportunity?
    Now that they are cloning sheep, have they any udders in mind?
    I find that raising children is like golf....you think you'll do better next time around.
    As you rip so shall you sew!
    Do you think an uphill struggle gives you summit to think about?
    I am of the opinion that condoms should be worn at all conceivable times.
    Are you aware behind every successful man is an astonished woman?
    They say that early retirement is nice work....if you can get it!
    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:04 pm


    Oh I love to go a 'pondering' along the mountain track, and when I've finished 'pondering' I write it down when I come back!

    One should never dig their heels in unless they are on firm ground!
    Does a seven day honeymoon make one weak?
    It is said that marriages are based upon trust and understanding, but what happens when she doesn't trust him, and he doesn't understand her?
    Have you noticed that some marriages turn into a triangle because someone didn't know where to draw the line!
    I say, lead me not into temptation, I prefer to find my own way.
    A little English humour here.... One should not protest their station in life or it could be their Waterloo!
    Manslaughter is a terrible thing, women's laughter is even worse. (take your time with this one, you'll figure it out)
    Have you noticed a terrible mess often starts with a spot of bother?
    I have concluded that a skeleton in the cupboard is often a bone of contention.
    You've done it, I've done it, but when all is considered self reproach is a waste of a good decision.
    Father's Day! The race to buy a Father's Day present usually ends in a tie!
    Man does not live by words alone, though sometimes he has to eat them. (I hope I don't have to.)

    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:11 pm


    Seriously though.... have you ever taken time out to ponder? It is a most relaxing occupation, why just the other day I was concluding...........

    I drink to make people interesting, because for me beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!
    Matrimony..... think about it.... it is really a matter o' money...ask any divorcee!
    Never marry a tennis player to them 'love' means nothing!
    This perplexed me for a long while, in the end I gave up, but just what is an other word for synonym?
    I have heard we live in a democracy.....as long as we do what we are told!
    Our politicians promise to remain on their toes, (whilst dragging their heels)..... an incredible feat!
    I have discovered that I am an insomniac......but I don't lose any sleep over it!
    My wife said the earth doesn't move for her anymore, so I bought her a shovel and a barrow.
    You see a person with a chip on their shoulder shows that their is wood higher up.
    I told her it is no good putting your foot down when you haven't got a leg to stand on.
    I noticed that Father Time waits for no man, but he is often persuaded into making concessions for women.
    I am a legend..... a legend is a lie that has attained the dignity of age!
    Beware... just because you have dotted the 'i' and crossed the 't' don't think you've sorted 'it' out!
    I read somewhere that we are what we eat, my advice would be to avoid NUTS!
    In conclusion it is well to remember that, a smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight!

    Till next time....

    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Fri Jun 29, 2012 8:38 pm


    Old age is far better than the alternative.
    In my case its no the bee in mah bonnet that am worried about, its the tilt in mah kilt!
    You see on the Richter scale seis does matter!
    It is better that you do your own thing, follow the herd and you'll end up in the manure.
    When reading this keep a straight face and you'll be laughing.
    Answer me this, is atheism a non-prophet organisation?
    The truth lies somewhere between the rock of faith and the hard place of reality.

    I digress as my mind wanders, is a TITLED insomniac a sleepless knight?
    Shouldn't all children that are caught playing truant be taught a lesson?
    If you have a breakdown on a motorway you'll only have a hard shoulder to cry on.
    When all is said and done there is more said than done! IMO.
    Take heed, if your father is a couch potato, make sure you aren't a chip of the old block.
    As a parent I know it is hard to raise a family..... especially in the morning!
    Without discipline, great oafs from little urchins grow!

    In conclusion (for now) never trust a man who doesn't have a sense of humour, and be wary of a one who does.

    Yabbadabbadoo!

    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:11 pm


    There is a modicum of truth in my ponderings, it is like panning for gold, sift through and you could strike it rich......

    Are you paying attention??????

    Vanity arises from the delusion that someone (what on here?) is paying attention.
    It is because people who think they know everything are a pain in the butt to those of us who do!
    Now success does not come overnight..... but failure usually does.
    My wife says she is multi-talented.... but in my view that only extends the scope for being wrong!
    Di.... Gressing (Welsh you see?) Do the Welsh make cheese Caerphilly?
    Do mountaineers after having climbed a high mountain find it good to Everest?
    Another thing ....why isn't phonetic spelled the same way as it sounds?
    The way you listen (read) speaks volumes!
    Are obese people in grape shape?
    Do you know many wise words are spoken in jest, but many more foolish ones are spoken in earnest (be careful)
    Is dishonesty a lie ability?
    Life's final score...... when brain stops play..... (WHAT?)
    If a chef boiled some hyena bones would he be making himself a laughing stock?
    Sports fans...a question... is the patron saint of football....... St. Off?

    Finally for this session.... Take care....it may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others!

    avatar
    daffyd

    Posts : 944

    Re: Questions to ponder

    Post by daffyd on Wed Jul 25, 2012 7:03 pm


    I've often wondered if you wonder and what you wonder about
    If you've ever succumbed and wondered why don't you give us a shout?

    Have you reached middle age when all you exercise is, caution?
    One advantage I find about growing old is that I no longer worry about dying young!
    I discovered that the secret of life is honesty and fair play, if you can fake that you have a potential career in Government!
    I see the Government has finally got our economy moving....... to India!
    Careful, a critic is someone who goes along for deride!
    Like most of the people who go for broke.....I haven't got far to go!
    Ideas are just like children..... your own are wonderful.
    I find that the nice thing about meditation (wondering) is that it makes doing nothing, respectable!
    Ladies are prone to having 'out of body experiences'.....it is called child birth.
    Now here is one to get you wondering, if a turtle does not have a shell, is it homeless or naked?

    Answers on a postcard......

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    Re: Questions to ponder

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