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    Humour

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    wuzfuz

    Posts : 3682

    Humour

    Post by wuzfuz on Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:42 pm

    newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?"

    The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like -- Mr. Plumber?"

    A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

    "What do I look like -- Mr. Goodwrench?"

    A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?"

    "What do I look like -- Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.

    One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either.

    When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?"

    She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything.

    "Wow, did he charge us anything?"

    "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him."

    "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?"

    "Cake? What the hell do I look like -- Betty Crocker?"

    avatar
    Willows

    Posts : 3366

    Re: Humour

    Post by Willows on Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:19 pm

    lol!
    avatar
    wuzfuz

    Posts : 3682

    Re: Humour

    Post by wuzfuz on Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:02 pm

    On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, 'I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!'

    The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat.

    Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, 'I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!'

    Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal and the first grade teacher told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of.

    The teacher suggested they try some biology questions... 'What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?' asked the teacher.

    'Legs!' Larry immediately replied. "What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?' asked the teacher.

    'Pockets!' said Larry.

    The teacher looked at the principal, who said, 'Maybe he should be in third grade, I missed those last two questions!'

    astonished08 Laughing

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