Location Map

August 2017

MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Calendar Calendar

Latest topics

» Poet's Corner
Tue Jul 04, 2017 6:15 pm by daffyd

» Wuzfuz and his music
Thu May 11, 2017 3:02 pm by Willows

» The world's Most Beautiful Horse
Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:49 pm by Glad E Olah

» Loads of Laughs
Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:32 pm by daffyd

» Gerraway!
Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:05 pm by daffyd

» Daffyd's Video Shack
Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:18 pm by daffyd

» Pompeii - Eruption of Mt Vesuvius
Fri Mar 25, 2016 7:35 pm by daffyd

» About Religion.
Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:19 pm by daffyd

» A Farmer of our time
Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:53 pm by daffyd

» Our Sun is Beautiful
Tue Feb 23, 2016 10:24 pm by islandgrl

» Spiced Beverage
Tue Feb 23, 2016 12:00 am by islandgrl

» TEA BAGS
Mon Feb 22, 2016 11:53 pm by islandgrl

» It's That Time Again
Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:02 pm by islandgrl

» Thanksgiving Poem
Thu Nov 26, 2015 11:15 am by Glad E Olah

» Guevedoces
Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:27 pm by Glad E Olah

» DESIDERATA
Tue Jul 14, 2015 5:57 pm by daffyd

» Ruby Shoes
Sun Jul 12, 2015 1:41 am by islandgrl

» Insane
Sun Jul 12, 2015 1:25 am by islandgrl

» Glad's 2015 Garden
Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:28 pm by Glad E Olah

» Facts of which you are unaware!
Sat Apr 25, 2015 7:17 pm by daffyd

» THE BACK NINE!
Sat Apr 18, 2015 7:33 pm by daffyd

» Daffyd's Disco
Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:05 pm by Windwalker

» Where Are They Now?
Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:38 pm by Windwalker

» Ye Olde Photo Shoppe
Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:36 pm by Windwalker

» Glass Totems
Fri Feb 06, 2015 12:08 am by islandgrl


    Entering Heaven

    Share
    avatar
    Willows

    Posts : 3366

    Entering Heaven

    Post by Willows on Sat Jul 09, 2011 7:55 pm

    Entering Heaven:

    All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination
    to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk
    who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her
    last day of life..

    The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a
    good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She
    claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry
    and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was
    into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the
    balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the
    rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his
    fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was
    broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I
    found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the
    balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
    point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and
    died.
    The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

    The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the
    roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled
    over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the
    balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out
    on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit
    some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge
    chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed
    and was hit and killed by the chest." The clerk couldn't help but chuckle
    as he directs the man to the next room.

    He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He
    apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as
    the fellow in here just before you."
    "I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in a cedar chest.....

      Current date/time is Sun Aug 20, 2017 3:55 am