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    Posts : 2477


    Post by islandgrl on Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:18 am

    Received this in an email today.


    In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah,
    Who was now living in England and said:
    "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
    -populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
    "Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing
    Along with a few good humans."
    He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
    "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will
    Start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
    Weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
    "Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
    Where is the Ark?"
    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

    "I needed a Building Permit."

    "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector
    About the need for a sprinkler system."

    "My neighbours claim that I've violated the
    Neighbourhood By-Laws by building the Ark in my
    Back garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
    Go to the Local Planning Committee for a decision."

    "Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power
    Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
    Passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them
    That the sea would be coming to us, but they would
    Hear nothing of it."

    "Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
    On cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."
    "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
    Needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

    "When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was
    Confining wild animals against their will. They
    Argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and
    It was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
    A confined space."

    "Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study
    On your proposed flood."

    "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
    Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
    Supposed to hire for my building crew."

    "Immigration are checking the
    Visa status of most of the people who want to work."

    "The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They
    Insist I have to hire only Union workers with
    Ark-building experience."

    "To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally
    With endangered species."

    "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10
    Years for me to finish this Ark."

    "Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
    And a rainbow stretched across the sky."

    Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
    "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

    "No," said the Lord.
    " The Government beat me to it."

      Current date/time is Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:01 am